Wanderlust

Sometimes I get the itch to go somewhere new so badly that it kind of supercedes all other thoughts for awhile. Often it comes out of nowhere, this desire, and it sticks like glue. I'll go online and search for houses in other areas. I see what kind of a house I could get in say, Plano Texas, or Boise, Idaho, and then I feel discontent for awhile. I keep thinking: three times the house for half or even a third the price!! Closet space!! A room for everyone and even extra!! Space!! Several houses had four living spaces, whatever that meant---I don't know, but it sounded good to me. A couple of them had a guest cottage. (And yes, it does occur to me that it's that much more house to clean. But hey!! I could hire a housekeeper!)

Where does it spring from, this wanderlust? I think perhaps it has its roots in childhood, my childhood. We moved quite a bit when I was a kid, for various and sundry reasons, and it seemed that after a few years in a place, I was itchin' to move on. Part of me was. Part of me longed to stay in one spot and develop friendships and have roots. But the other part---the gypsy side---kept looking to the horizon.

Also, every summer for quite a number of years, we traveled to visit my grandparents in the midwest. It was a several-day car trip, and I still remember those trips as the highlights of my childhood. Oh, I'm sure I've forgotten the long boring hours, etc., but I remember the Kansas wheatfields. I remember the long, lonely stretches of road that went as far as the eye could see. I remember the Colorado Rockies and the New Mexico deserts. I remember them in my mind's eye with a kind of ache. Hey! I sound like a country song. Sometimes I feel like a country song.

I don't think we'll probably ever move, though, at least not for a long time. For all sorts of reasons: The kids are settled in their schools and there's never a perfect time to go. If it would be a good time for one of the kids, it'd be a real bummer for another (school/grade-wise). There's no burning need to go anywhere else. There isn't one particular spot that we've always been dying to live. My husband isn't exactly known for making any sort of spontaneous decisions (Thank goodness! Most of the time, thank goodness,) and by the time all the research would be done, I'd probably have changed my mind. It's been so long now since we've been anywhere else that I'm not sure if I'd really have the courage to go someplace new at this point anyway. Which bothers me somewhat. I don't like the "rut" feeling of that. I don't want to stay because I'm too scared to spread my wings. I don't want to stay just because it's easier when maybe there's a really great experience out there, waiting.

And yet. There's a lot to be said for blooming where you're planted. For being content. For living in the moment. For appreciating what you have. For the great experiences right in the present spot. I do know that; I just forget sometimes. And I do know that the grass is never greener....

but the houses are a little bigger (she said in a sing-song-y voice). More space. Ahhhh....