Stuck In A Rut

I've mentioned recently that I've been in a bit of a funk. Can't really pinpoint why exactly, so maybe that's not where the focus need be. The thing is, I seem to be overwhelmingly disappointed in myself, in who I am and where I am. There are so many things I wish were different about myself that I hardly know where to start. I'm unorganized, undisciplined, unfocused, undirected, unmotivated. Un-everything apparently. I'm not the kind of parent I admire, our family life is more unstructured than not, I don't seem to have any personal structure or focus, I rarely finish anything I start.......and I want to change the direction this ship is heading but I don't know how. I want to become someone organized and structured. I want our family to have routines and order. I want us to spend a Saturday doing something fun instead of sleeping too late, spending hours plopped in front of a computer, spending the rest of the day trying half-heartedly to get some work done around the house and then finding that the day is gone. I want to have energy and be nice and talk kindly and be wise with my children. I'm going to be 40 next year, and I've flunked in every category.

Is this a mid-life crisis??

How unpleasant. I thought I'd get a sports car and dress too young and flirt with all the boys. I thought that's how it worked. Perhaps I can't even manage a mid-life crisis correctly. I'm not quite as glum as I sound. But almost. What a downer! I promise it'll pick up from here.

(And this isn't a bid for compliments. Honestly. What I need here are suggestions for climbing out of the hole.)