It takes a spot of courage to stand up tall and a bit of derring-do to rise when you fall

Monday, January 09, 2006

Two Plus Two Doesn't Always Equal Four

A dear, sweet old man we've known for a lot of years passed away last week. Today was his memorial service and my two youngest sons had a lot of questions. Mostly they wanted to know what he'd died from. I explained that he died because he was old. "But what did he die from?" So I explained that two months ago he had a heart attack and because he was old and his heart had been working for a lot of years (85, I think), it just couldn't recover from the heart attack. Both of my sons, independent of each other and at separate times, said: "Well, is Grandpa going to die? He had a heart attack; is he going to die?" Two days after Thanksgiving my Dad had a little scare---a "small" heart attack and is now doing excellently. But my kids did the math and figured out that two months was coming up and did that mean that Grandpa was going to die too?

It made me realize how many times kids have to struggle to come up with answers to big huge questions. They don't always ask these questions and so often get the answers wrong inside their own little minds and garnered from their tiny spheres of experience. I can remember as a kid coming to some erroneous conclusion about something---it made perfect sense to me at the time and seemed to be the only obvious answer. It would sometimes be years before somehow the true answer or correct reality would inadvertantly become clear and I'd realize---aha! I've always assumed X but Y is really true.

So....I hope my kids keep asking questions. Better to hear something painful or even to hear, "You know, I'm not sure about that" than to come up with something completely off-base and off-track and then live with unfounded fears and misconceptions for years.

Poor babies.


Blogger mreddie said...

So well I remember all the misinformation that I learned and later had to correct and relearn. What was really bad was that I had to re-relearn some things. It is good to see parents striving to keep those lines of communications open as long as possible. ec

7:04 AM, January 09, 2006

Blogger Crystal said...

when i was little, my great grandmother was sick. i figured, if eating after a sick person will make you sick, why can't i just give her a bite of my sandwich - since i was well, that should make her well right?

wish it was that easy.

10:22 AM, January 09, 2006

Blogger Left Coast Sister said...

Isn't parenting hard? Sometimes in a much different way than you'd expect... But sometimes I think kids handle the truth so much better than they handle the myths they're given that don't really make sense anyway. What an amazing part of the journey to see their sense of reasoning mature!

12:47 PM, January 09, 2006

Blogger No_Newz said...

Kids are amazing. (so is word verification I have to type imbxdwtbrgoin which I think is longer than my comment. LOL!
Lois Lane

4:25 PM, January 09, 2006

Blogger Kylee said...

It is amazing what they say...and even more amazing what they think. It is so important to keep the communication lines open so that they do ask the questions...they do say what they are thinking. Mine is only 5 and I find that he thinks and "worries" about things before he even talks about things....

10:43 PM, January 09, 2006

Blogger jay are said...

yes, they do worry. And their worries are just as huge and real to them as ours are to us. But when theirs could be allayed with just a simple explanation---indeed it's important to keep communication flowing...or whatever it is that communication does :)

1:29 PM, January 10, 2006


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