It takes a spot of courage to stand up tall and a bit of derring-do to rise when you fall

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Ready, Aim, Fire!

This is not a very couth observation nor is it a very Christmas-y kind of observation and I suppose it doesn't even bear mentioning, but I guess I will anyway. There's something that has puzzled me for some time, and it is this: males have something to aim with, so why is it they so often can't make it IN the toilet? I can't figure this out, and it sometimes drives me a little batty. Perhaps if the males were the sole cleaners of bathrooms, they would be more careful? Probably not, is my guess.

I recently heard that a study was done on this (some people don't have enough to do apparently) and it was noticed that when something was placed in the toilet to actually aim at---little flushable targets---there were fewer incidents of not making it in the toilet. So unless it's a competition of sorts, it's not worth the effort??

Also note that this practice is dead set against age discrimination.


Blogger Meow said...

Maybe we all need to paint a ping-pong ball with a target ... they won't flush away ... and then the guys might try to aim better ... treat it as a game (I've heard people do this with their little boys, when they are learning to pee standing up !!).

Wonder if any guys will comment on this post !?!?!

2:41 AM, December 21, 2005

Blogger jay are said...

ha! I was wondering if any males would be able to explain it to me. doubtful...
and I've also heard of the targets as a means to train little boys. This clearly was never done around here.

2:43 AM, December 21, 2005

Blogger heatherfeather said...


and what's so hard to learn about "dude, you don't start until it's all the way out"?

ping pong ball? brilliant.

5:35 AM, December 21, 2005

Blogger Kylee said...

your right it is not age discriminate -

If we had them be the sole cleaners of the bathroom they would say OK...and then just not do it. Unless their mom was coming over - then they might.

9:23 AM, December 21, 2005

Blogger bryan torre said...

For the record, I aim pretty well. Like a marine with his rifle, over the years you develop kind of a feel for the limits of your equipment. So to speak. When you've gone (heh) through so much together, you have a kind of rapport, almost a mystical bond as it were, so you hardly even have to talk to each other, although sometimes you might do that anyway, if you're by yourselves or whatever.
Aaaanyway, what I really meant to say was that I also always wipe the rim afterward, whether it seems necessary or not.
Not sure if this was exactly the information you wanted, but hope it helps...

2:02 PM, December 21, 2005

Blogger jay are said...

well, I'm impressed, ya. The rim is critical. But that in a way is a kind of lesser evil even than the FLOOR. The FLOOR. Ugh. Your detailed explanation was fun, too. :)

7:10 PM, December 21, 2005

Blogger unca said...

Wow, you mean I can wee wee standing up? Just when you think you're too old to learn something new!

7:23 PM, December 21, 2005

Blogger mreddie said...

The title of your post was funny to me since this is exactly what my son-in-law is teaching my young grandson - ready, aim, fire - it actually works sometimes. ec

8:54 PM, December 21, 2005

Blogger jay are said...

well I hope he's concentrating on the AIM part, mr. eddie!!
and unca, maybe you can teach new dogs old tricks (like sitting!!!)

9:23 PM, December 21, 2005

Blogger Michelle said...

As Meow said, it's a well known toilet training trick here in Oz. Supposedly rather affective too, i just wish they'd learn to leave the lid down!

3:20 AM, December 22, 2005

Blogger unca said...

Actually, I know a guy who's wife actually convinced him to sit, rather than stand. He claimed to favor the idea because he had seen or read something having to do with invisible droplets that populate the bathroom atmosphere even if you do hit the target (microsplashing or something). Anyway, he acted as if he was happy to oblige but I'm not sure his heart was in it. Sitting down to tinkle for a guy has to be kind of emasculating.

9:56 AM, December 22, 2005

Blogger unca said...

Also, see:

10:00 AM, December 22, 2005

Blogger heatherfeather said...

dude, it's really the floor.

when i'm in public, i always wear shoes in the bathroom. when i'm at home, not as much. (see my frog-stepping comment on bryan's blog for more info)

i don't want to step in pee at home.

12:34 PM, December 22, 2005

Blogger jay are said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:27 PM, December 22, 2005

Blogger jay are said...

unca---as far as the "this is true" article, I'm not sure how you'd regulate such a thing anyway! I remember reading about a study done where they put this stuff all over the bathroom that would glow in the dark. This was a men's restroom. For one day---business as usual. That night, when they shut off the lights, the place lit up like it was mid-afternoon. Pee has splashed everywhere. And wherever it had landed, it lit up.
That's a good argument for sitting down, emasculating or not. :) Too bad men can be so silly about these things.
And yes, it's the FLOOR!! I say again and agree with h-f. Yuck.

(cool word verification: zzetzzu)

11:29 PM, December 22, 2005

Blogger Crystal said...

i think i have the answer for your question.

i walked in to the bathroom and found my boyfriend, hands on hips, head on cabinet trying to just get IT in the general vicinity of the toilet bowl. i guess once you have mastered the art of pointing IT by using hands, the next level of manhood is being able to aim IT solely with your hips.

9:51 AM, December 23, 2005

Blogger unca said...

This reminds me of a wonderful joke that I hope will not offend. It seems the father of a teenage girl looked out the window the morning after his daughter's date brought her home. To his horror he discovered the boyfriend's name "written" in the snow. He immediately called the young man's father to complain. The boyfriend's father said the girl's father was over reacting and that a lot of boys write their names this way in the snow. "Yeah," replied the girl's father, "but it was my daughter's handwriting!"

8:24 PM, December 23, 2005

Blogger bryan torre said...


i heard this a long time ago, but had forgotten it. thanks!

1:34 AM, December 24, 2005

Blogger jay are said...

that is a great joke! :)
and sexylovepits---I think you might have shed a little light on the problem, all right. A little depressing indeed.

5:30 PM, December 24, 2005


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