It takes a spot of courage to stand up tall and a bit of derring-do to rise when you fall

Sunday, December 18, 2005

In Case You Find Yourself With Time On Your Hands

The following found its way into my email again, and every time I see it, I find myself laughing out loud. It seemed especially appropriate to post this now, considering Erik's important news regarding Walmart.

THINGS TO DO IN A WALMART

Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his or her sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares..... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last but not least:

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

3 Comments:

Blogger Meow said...

I would really like to do some of these things ... it would be hilarious !! Maybe when I work up some courage !!!

2:36 AM, December 19, 2005

 
Blogger heatherfeather said...

wait- why am i in a wal-mart again?

5:11 AM, December 19, 2005

 
Blogger just sayin' said...

I like number 11 but you have to incorporate the moves of John Belushi from Animal House when he's breaking into the fraternity.

9:29 AM, December 20, 2005

 

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