R.I.P.

Caveat: I love my family to pieces and I wouldn't trade one of them for anything at all in this entire world.

Scenario: I have sleep apnea, which really stinks. I probably get a really good night's sleep once every two weeks. I have a sleep machine, which I use most of the time. If I don't use it, I will sleep through the night but I'll have terrible quality of sleep. If I use the machine, I wake up quite often, though when I'm actually sleeping, I'm getting better sleep than if I didn't use it. It's a toss-up. It's frustrating to not just get to go to bed, go to sleep and know that I'll wake up feeling rested and refreshed. That is as foreign to me as if I woke up speaking fluent French.

Problem: The members of my family, though dear to my heart, are sometimes amazingly clueless about how one behaves in the presence of someone who is sleeping or trying to get to sleep. These are things that have occurred when I have either been asleep or have been clearly trying to get to sleep (lights off, eyes closed---you know the usual clues):

humming, whistling, talking, laughing, debating an issue, working on the computer (one of which is in our room), having a conversation in regular voices (has anyone heard of quietly whispering??), turning on lights, banging, clanging, rustling through various and sundry items. I've even had times where my machine has been on (mask on my face--a pretty sight), lights off, eyes closed and one of my younger kids will come into the room, over to where I'm sleeping (or trying) and ask if I'll go get them a drink. This while there are other members of the family still up and be-bopping around (engaged in any of the activities I listed above)! This when they're perfectly capable of getting their own drink!

I don't understand it really, and mostly it perplexes me. I admit there have been times, however, when I've wondered if I'm so unimportant that whether I sleep or not is of no consequence or value, though I know deep in my heart this isn't it. I know these aren't malicious acts or done with any ill intent. Yet they happen quite frequently, and it's all of them, my dear and beloved family members, who suffer (besides myself) from the consequences of the monster that arises eventually, almost psychotic from lack of true sleep. And yet they don't seem to connect the dots. All the gears are not engaged. I don't know what it is. And I don't know what the solution is, really. Hang a big huge sign on my door explaining that the person in the bed with her eyes closed is asleep and would like to stay that way? Lock the bedroom doors and move a heavy piece of furniture in front of them? Sleep in the car?

This is a minor problem compared to what many people in this crazy world are dealing with. I'll keep the problems I have, thank you very much. I would be able to deal with them a lot more effectively, though, if I could just GET A LITTLE SLEEP!