It takes a spot of courage to stand up tall and a bit of derring-do to rise when you fall

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Take Two Steps Toward The Trashcan and Call Me In The Morning

It's a strange phenomenon. All members of my family (myself excluded) seem to be struck by the same malady. All of them are allergic to the garbage can. Every single one of them. They cannot throw out an item of trash. Sometimes they get close. I'll go out to the kitchen and I'll find wadded up paper towels or wrappers from something sitting on the counter, mere inches from the wastebasket. So close. Almost made it but not quite. After a meal or a snack I can absolutely count on going into the kitchen and finding every item of trash and leftover garbage from the meal still sitting on the table: used napkins, empty soda cans, empty Capri Suns--you name it; it's still there. Practically every time. If I just left it---because that's the theory: they don't throw the stuff out because they know you will---if I just left it, it would only become evident that there was a problem when the trash had piled so high and took up so much room that they couldn't plop their plate down on the table. It might strike one of them then that something was amiss.

I don't know if there's a cure. I don't know if there is any medicine that helps trashcanitis. I don't suppose it's that rare of a condition, though I haven't heard much about it. But I do know, I know without a doubt, that it exists.


Blogger bryan torre said...

You can't know how much it means to me to know that I'm not alone [pathetic sob here].
My family is also allergic to throwing things away. They can throw trash into the SINK, but apparently not into the trashcan.

In keeping things neat, trash -- especially non-messy trash, like wrappers, etc -- is a freebie. It's the easiest thing to clean up, because you don't have to put each individual trash item into its own special place -- they all go the same place, into the trashcan!
Plus trsh is almost always lighter than items you want to keep.
Not to mention the gains in neatness are greater from clearing away trash than from, say, putting away shoes.
So the effort-to-reward ratio is off the charts -- I bet you can hardly take it in how easy and cool it is to clean up trash! Wow!
But can we do it? No, apparently we can not.

12:50 PM, September 26, 2005


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